Perfecting Prayers - Changing God’s Mind?

By: Dr. Robert Petterson

Sep 06, 2009

Theologians have wrestled with this question down through the millennia: Can prayer change the mind of God? Some might even wonder, "Why would anyone want to change the mind of a perfect God?" Abraham and Moses both argued for God to change his mind. In the case of Moses, Exodus 32:14 says that "the Lord relented" after Moses pleaded with him. But doesn't the Bible say in another place that "God is not a man that he should change his mind"? Yet, if you can't change God's mind, what's the point of persistent prayer? Perhaps prayer is about changing imperfect saints, not a perfect God.

Sermon Text:

[Text: Genesis 18 & Exodus 32]

People said that this itinerate evangelist was either a liar or lunatic. He had a long history of making outlandish claims. So they laughed when he adorned himself with the grandiose title of Apostle. He countered their ridicule by claiming that Jesus had come down from heaven and spent three years alone with him in the Arabian Desert.

But his most audacious claim was yet to come. He actually declared that he had been transported to heaven and ushered into the very throne room of God. He claimed that he saw things so fantastic that they were beyond description. For most folks, this was the final straw. His closest disciples deserted him, and his detractors dismissed him as a false apostle. When he was put on trial for his life, not a single Christian came to his defense.

He ended his life as he had lived it, afflicted with unspeakable pain. For more than two decades he had endured what he called his “thorn in the flesh.” He kept the exact nature of this suffering a secret, and it still remains one of the unsolved mysteries of history.

But, in his second letter to a church that he had planted in Corinth, he describes his enduring and excruciating pain in the most graphic of language. This is not your garden variety thorn. The word he uses literally means “a stake.” It describes the Persian form of execution in which the victim is impaled on a sharpened pole.

He adds that that this excruciating pain is “a messenger of Satan to torment me.” The Greek word for “torment” is used for the knuckles of a fist; the same word used to describe religious leaders punching Jesus in the face during his trial. The verb “torment” is in the continuous tense in the Greek. He felt like someone was hitting him in the face 24/7 while a sharpened stake worked its way up through his body.

He continues in 2 Corinthians 12:8, “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me…” The Greek word for “pleaded” was a common psychological term for someone stretched to the breaking point and ready to snap. He is saying that on three separate occasions, over fourteen years of piercing pain, he frantically prayed to the point of an emotional breakdown. Unrelenting pain can drive the best person crazy, even if that person is the Apostle Paul.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9 he makes a fascinating revelation: even as he was pleading for God to remove his thorn in the flesh, God was simultaneously saying to St. Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you…” Like a like a lot of us, he was so busy talking at God that he couldn’t hear God speaking to him. His fixation on pain caused him to forget that prayer is a two-way conversation, not a one-sided monologue.

He also learned that God’s answers don’t always line up with our expectations. God says to St. Paul, “I won’t take away your pain, but I will give you the grace to endure it.” In 2 Corinthians 12:9 Paul tells us that God said to him, “…for my power is made perfect in weakness…” Paul discovered a third truth in his marathon prayer sessions: God wants to give us a greater healing beyond the lesser healing we seek.

When we pray for healing, we should expect God to answer our prayers. In Isaiah 53:5, God made a promise that he will never break: “…by his wounds we are healed.” But we are so intent on ridding ourselves of the pain that drives us crazy, that we are willing to settle for a lesser healing. We want God to take away the cancer, the addiction, or the pain in our marriage, but God wants to heal our mind, our emotions, our family, and even our world. So he leaves the “thorn in the flesh” as a surgeon’s scalpel probing and cutting out other things that are far more dangerous to our health.

St. Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 12:7, “To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh…” Like all saints, Paul had feet of clay, and pride was his Achilles heel. The fact that God allowed him to go into heaven could have puffed him up with conceit. But God wanted to bring him to the point of being able to say in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest in me.” Paul’s prayers were for a lesser healing: “God, take away my thorn in the flesh!” God’s answer was a greater healing: “Through the weakness of an abiding thorn, my grace will work to make you a powerful Apostle. And through the greater healing I give you, I will bring the healing gospel to a whole world of sick sinners.” God always heals, but not always the way we want him to heal. His healing is far greater than we ever imagine. That’s why it is so essential that we learn the third principle of effective warfare praying:

Prayer is not about us changing God to our way, but God conforming us to his will.

I never want to forget the statement of the old priest in the movie Rudy: “In my ministry I’ve learned two things: there is a God, and I’m not him.” A common misconception is that prayer is about changing the mind of God. Such an idea hangs on two strange assumptions: 1) God’s thinking is not always perfect, and therefore we need to change it; 2) God doesn’t know as much as we do, and therefore we need to set him straight. Isn’t this reasoning absurd? Does that mean then that we shouldn’t plead with God to take away our pain? Of course not! He is delighted with persistent prayers that plead for his goodness. But that doesn’t mean that he will give us exactly what we think we need when we think we need it. St. Paul discovered that the pain God doesn’t take away often brings a greater healing. I love that handwritten poem found in the pocket of a dead Confederate soldier:

I asked God for strength that I might achieve; I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked God for health that I might do great things; I was given infirmity that I might do better things. I asked for riches that I might be happy; I was given poverty that I might be wise. I asked for power that I might have the praise of men; I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life; I was given life that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for; but everything that I had hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am among men, most richly blessed.

St. Paul would say “amen” to these soldier’s lines about unanswered prayers. But Paul would also say, that the fact that God doesn’t always give us exactly what we want exactly when we want it, doesn’t mean we should give up on our prayers. Something very powerful happens when we persist: we get something even better than what we ask for; a healing beyond the “healing” we pleaded for. We are conformed to the very image of God. Let me share with you three “pleading” prayers from the Bible. Folks often use these three stories to prove that prayer changes the mind of God. Instead, they show that prayer changes the mind of one who is praying.

1. Abraham cutting a deal with God

This intriguing story is found in Genesis 18. God has sent three angels down to earth. For years he has watched with holy disgust as the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah have indulged in the grossest sorts of sexual perversities, infant sacrifices, and unspeakable cruelty. Now he has decided to heal the land by cleansing the earth of these Canaanite cities. God could have done this without getting anyone’s approval. After all, he’s God! But he sends his angels to Abraham first.

The angels inform Abraham about what God is about to do, and the old saint begins to plead with God to spare the cities. Maybe he’s worried about his nephew’s family who is living in Sodom. But his real concern is that God is so monstrous as to destroy whole cities. So he sets out to change God’s mind through a “pleading” prayer. This is what I learn from wrestling with Abraham’s prayer for Sodom:

1) Only God knows what we can handle

Before the angels tells the old man about God’s plans for Sodom, God asks in verse ten, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do?” God is never obligated to tell us what he is going to do, nor does he have to tell us why. He often greets our questions and complaints with infuriating silence. But he wants to involve Abraham so the old man can grow up. If St. Paul needed to wrestle with a “thorn in the flesh” to rid himself of pride, then Abraham must wrestle with the destruction of Sodom to learn how to trust God better. From the opening lines of this prayer, God’s fairness is the issue:

“Then Abraham approached him and said, ‘Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of fifty people in it? Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of the earth do right?’” (Genesis 18: 23-25)

This is a cheeky prayer. It amounts to Abraham giving God a lecture on ethics. Repeatedly, he appeals to God to do the “right” thing. But God isn’t about to change his mind, nor should he. His mindset is perfectly holy and good all the time. But Abraham’s mindset often isn’t. There are times when the old man’s faith is heroic, and there are other times when it falls flat on its face. Do you remember when he lied to the Pharaoh of Egypt and allowed his wife to be hauled into the Egyptian Pharaoh’s harem because of his craven cowardice? He caved in another time and gave his wife to a local warlord named Abimilech.

But his biggest faith crisis was in God’s promise to give Sarah and him a son. They had drifted into their 80s and 90s without that promise being fulfilled. Over the years Abraham became angry and disillusioned with God. Finally, he gave up and fathered an illegitimate son. Sarah too had become cynical about God’s goodness. When the angels told Abraham that, after all their years of waiting, Sarah was about to get pregnant in her 80s, she hid behind the tent and laughed. Abraham probably sighed on the inside. He’d heard it so many times before.

This is the prayer of a disillusioned saint who doubts his God’s goodness. This same God who has denied him children is about to destroy whole cities full of children. But even as Abraham is trying to make God good again, God is making Abraham into a better man. Remember God’s question: “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do?” God knows when we can handle a “thorn in the flesh” or the destruction of a city where our relatives live. He will not let us bear more than we can bear. On the other hand, he just might stretch us to the breaking point to transform us.

2) God is pleased when we plead with him.

This is a wonderful interchange between God and Abraham. God plays along with Abraham in verse 26: “If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom. I will spare the whole place for their sake.” He already knows there aren’t fifty righteous people in Sodom. But reality begins to dawn on Abraham. So he lowers the ante. “How about forty-five?” “What about forty?” “What if there are thirty?” Now Abraham starts to waver. He says in verse 30, “May the Lord not be angry…” But God isn’t angry. He’s enjoying this interchange. He knows that, other than Lot (who he’s going to save), there isn’t a single righteous person in that city. Never has a city so richly deserved annihilation. But God wants Abraham to see that he does all things with holy goodness. Finally Abraham gets down to his last plea in verse 32: “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?” Even now God goes along with Abraham. Though the old man fears that he is offending God by asking for too much, God never gets angry. We can’t plead too much because it is in persistent prayers that saints are transformed.

3) In our wrestling with God, we gain his perspective

Look at what happens in verse thirty-three: “When the Lord had finished speaking with Abraham, he left, and Abraham returned home.” There comes a moment when Abraham stops asking for God to spare Sodom, just as there came a moment when Paul stopped asking God to take away the “thorn in his flesh.” There comes a moment when saints grow up enough to see things from God’s perspective. Abraham finally sees the truth: God is absolutely justified in destroying Sodom. He never again questions God’s goodness. There are still a few stumbles along the way, but Abraham’s cynicism about God is gone, and he grows exponentially in his faith walk. C.S. Lewis wrote, “Prayer is God’s gymnasium where the muscles of faith are built strong for bigger battles still ahead.”

2. Moses talking God down off a ledge?

In Genesis 32 there is a provocative story about prayer that seems to change the mind of God. Moses has been on Mt. Sinai for 40 days. He has received the tablets of the Law and is about to go back down, when God informs him that the Israelites have fashioned a golden bull and are worshipping it in the most depraved manner. He says to Moses in verse ten, “Now leave me alone so that my anger may burn against them and that I may destroy them. Then I will make you into a great nation.”

The pain of that is so piercing to Moses that he pleads with God to not renege on his covenant promises. He argues that the pagans ridicule the God of Israel as a liar if he doesn’t take the Jews into the Promised Land. After he pleads his case before God, verse 14 says, “Then the Lord relented and did not bring on his people the disaster he had threatened.” On the surface, it seems like Moses talked some sense into God and changed his mind. But, if this interpretation is right, then this story presents a God that the polar opposite of everything the rest of Scripture reveals about him: an angry God who has to be talked down off the ledge by Moses; a forgetful God who has to be reminded about his covenant promises; a changing God who loves us one moment and gives up on us the next. But things are never what they seem on the surface. Let me give an alternative view:

1) God knows our heart before we ever pray

God knows every molecule of our body and soul. He knows that St. Paul has a problem with pride, Abraham has become cynical about his goodness, and Moses has an anger management issue. His life has been ruined by outbursts of uncontrollable rage. When he was the Prince of Egypt, he killed a man in an outburst of anger and spent the next 40 years as a fugitive on the run. When he couldn’t take another moment of whining from his complaining followers, he angrily smacked the rock with a stick instead of praying for water to come out of the stone as God had commanded. That outburst of anger kept him out of the Holy Land. As soon as he goes down the mountainside, verses 19&21 tell us that he sees the Jews groveling before that golden bull. He angrily hurls the tablets of the Law to the ground, smashing them to smithereens. In a fit of rage, he grounds up the idol, mixes it with water, and forces the people to gag it down their throats. His uncontrollable anger is an ugly thing to behold. The only time Moses ever gets in trouble is when his temper explodes. So God does what a parent might do with an out-of-control child: he plays a role reversal. He pretends to have the uncontrollable anger that Moses would have if left to his worst instincts. And as Moses reasons with God, the old man gets himself under control. He begins becomes the man he ought to be even as he pleads with God to be the God he ought to be. This is not Moses talking God down off the ledge, but God talking Moses down off the ledge.

2) God will never violate his own character

In verses 11-13 Moses reminds God of things God never has to be reminded of: he is a covenant-keeping God who will never do evil to his people even though they do evil in his sight; a God who will never forget his promises to our Fathers; a God who will never take us halfway home only to destroy us in a fit of rage. Above all, he will never shame himself before the watching nations by denying the very character that gives him glory. But Moses doesn’t have to convince God of these things as much as he has to convince himself. When we plead with God, reminding him of his character and the promises of his Word, it is not because he is has forgotten who he is, but we are the forgetful ones. In the process he will do everything necessary to change our character. God has never lost his temper and done anything because of uncontrollable rage. But Moses will if God doesn’t reign him in.

3) God is not a man that he would change his mind

So what do we do with verse fourteen? “Then the Lord relented and did not bring on his people the disaster he had threatened.” The key word is threatened. God never intended to do what he said to Moses. He only threatens to pull Moses into a conversation that will keep him out of trouble. God doesn’t have to relent because he never intended to destroy the Jews in the first place. To even think so would have violated his character. Numbers 23:19 says, “God is not a man that he should lie; neither the son of man that he should repent (or change his mind).” Moses is right in his argument: why would a holy God ever even think to do anything that would violate his character or word? The truth is: God never did, nor will he ever. In short, it is impossible for God to think or do anything that would ever require him to repent or change his mind. It is Moses who must be talked off the ledge, not God.

Hezekiah’s folly

Sometimes our reaction to God’s will reveals our hidden character flaws. Hezekiah was a great king in Israel. Outside of David, God speaks more highly of Hezekiah than any other king in the Bible. He brought a great spiritual revival to Israel. He threw out the idols and cleaned up the temple. When the Assyrians surrounded Jerusalem, his prayers moved God to send a plague and break the enemy siege. While the Bible reveals the flaws in St. Paul, Abraham, and Moses, it never says a negative thing about Hezekiah. But, in Isaiah 38 God sent the prophet to tell Hezekiah to get his house in order because he was going to die. It was God’s desire to take this good king home to heaven. But verse three says that Hezekiah lay in his bed, turned his face to the wall like a petulant child and “wept bitterly.” He complained that God was unfair for him to die after he had been so faithful to God. The things that give us pain cut beyond our surface righteousness and reveal the real rot in our soul.

So God says to Isaiah in verse four, “Go and tell Hezekiah, ‘This is what the Lord, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears. I will add fifteen years to your life.” Sometimes God will give us what we want even when it is not best for us. Beware of getting your way with God. St. Theresa of Aivla wrote, “Answered prayers cause more tears than those that remain unanswered. 2 Kings 20 tells us what happens in those fifteen extra years God gave Hezekiah. He became soft and lazy. Pride seeped into his life. When the envoys of Babylon came to visit, his conceit led him to show them his storehouse of treasures. As a result, the greedy Babylonians made the decision to invade Israel. Hezekiah’s pride led to the destruction of Jerusalem, and a holocaust of horrific proportions. His grandsons became eunuchs to guard the harems of the Babylonian kings.

Country superstar, Garth Brooks sang in a hit song: Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers. Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs that just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.” Paul understood that, and so did Abraham and Moses. I have a wish list of prayers I want God to answer. More importantly, I want the greater healing of being conformed to his perfect will.

Copyright 2008-2012, All rights reserved. No part of this may be reproduced without permission from Dr. Robert Petterson, Pastor Trent Casto or Covenant Presbyterian Church of Naples.